Loving Love

Today was an emotional roller coaster. Not for me personally, but I witnessed all my loved ones at various stages in their lives. From high up and cheerful, giving me warmth and love inside to just see them smile, to the lows and making me want to scoop out all my love for them and show them they truly are appreciated and important and valuable and precious and loved and important. All these small interactions with the people I love, impacted me so greatly today. They all got me thinking in different directions, feeling a range of emotions, and wanting to do things for them, but not sure how. I want to be in all places at once, but know that I cannot and I just settle for staying in my comfort zone. But no, there is something bubbling up inside me, and I want to make sure I start showing my appreciation for those I love, even if it is in my own small way. Love and appreciation can go a long way. So forcing out a smile, even if I'm tired, giving out hugs, even if I'm in a daze with my life, or just sending a text to check up on people can make all the difference. Make the effort. Spread the love.

Side Thoughts

Structural racism. Silent movies. White privilege. Gender roles in abuse. Never have I ever really felt so engaged in discussion than today in film studies. It would have been great to be personally involved by contributing (and I almost did contribute how the ridiculously over-the-top facial expressions of the actors in "Broken Blossoms"was to compensate for the lack of dialogue and easily convey to the audience what was going on. But I always dwell on my potential contribution, trying to perfect it so I kind of know what I am talking about, but when I finally pick up the courage to almost raise my hand, the moment has passed and we are on the next topic. Soon I will be able to get better at this, but for now, listening is what I am best at, and listen I must).

Anyway, the great questions and comments, and back and forth between the students was how a discussion section ought to be for every class, but I guess I'm just fortunate that the group of students I am with, truly care for the subject. And I absolutely love my TA for his radical opinions, open-minded perspective, social/political correctness, crazy hair, and readiness to admit his white privilege and mistakes. Week 4 of the quarter, and already I am bombarded with projects, assignments, papers, preparation for Pilipino Culture Night, and critical analysis of the world around me. As always, I continue to appreciate and truly love my privilege to learn, and not just learn, but learning what truly interests me. 

Hearts Day

February 14, 2014

Top: Forever 21 || Sweater: thrifted || Dress: Forever 21 || Knee high socks: Forever 21 || Purse: Old Navy || Boots: Doc Martens

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